Beauty in relationships
A good friend recently got into a relationship. Now the thing is before the relationship she was like me - not really into all those girly things like make up, clothes, shoes, accessories, dressing up, trips to the beauty parlour, bla, bla, bla. We used to have INTERESTING conversations aside from the usual spicy gossip.
But now that has suddenly changed. When I last met her, she had changed totally. Her looks were changed and sadly even our conversations. She could not leave her 'baby' for a second and our talk was mostly restricted to the spicy gossip...which I confess gets totally dreary after a while.
Even though she looked nice, what I could not tolerate was the fact that she had done ALL this just to keep HIM from straying!
Thats what MOST women do by the way. She is not the only one. This leaves me with the question- Why do they DO IT? Why do they change themselves for somebody else? I mean...if somebody likes you...shouldn't they like you just the way you are? Isn't this temporary, self circumsizing? A lie that won't last. Besides...if he just likes you for the way you look and nothing else...ladies..here's my two cents worth...LEAVE HIM NOW OR HE'LL LEAVE YOU LATER. You can't possibly look beautiful everytime and you cannot be the prettiest no matter what. So never have looks as the basis of the relationship.
I know that you're thinking- well if I don't look good he won't even be attracted to me in the first place. I'm not denying that...most guys and even girls for that matter get attracted to good looking people rather than people who are good but don't match up in the beauty dept. Its all in the eye. So I'm just saying....don't make THAT the be all and end all of your relationship. Otherwise you'll land up getting thoroughly BORED with each other...and thats dreadful.
Everyone wants to find their soulmate. But soulmates aren't EVER described as people who LOOK BEAUTIFUL, they are people who look and feel beautiful when together. An anonymous author offered the following description:
Soulmates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.
I hope my friend's reading this.

On being judgemetal and opinionated
"Judge not and be judged not"
My mother is ALWAYS telling me this because I'm damn quick at passing judgements and forming opinions about many things.

My mind is literally like a thought factory and there is SO much in there. It would probably burst if I do not form opinions, categorise and place things in seperate compartments. But my mother and many of my friends are of the opinion that I should not be like that.
"Why do you have to think so much? Why is it that you have an opinion on most things under the sun?". These questions come my way quite often.
I usually reply:
You know Martin Luther King said that if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.

Besides, in all honesty I generally refrain from negative opinions about others without knowing their person. I'm not a judge-at-first-glance kinda person or for that matter, judge-based-on-what-you-hear. The only exception are people I do not and cannot know and thus like to think of them only via subjective judgements. Otherwise, unless the person in my vicinity is incredibly interesting and totally different I would not bother with opinions and if I do..I try and keep it positive or atleast nuetral. Negative opinions I realize can wreck havoc and damage relationships that may have even a little bit of scope.

But thats for me, I know many people who are extremely opinionated. Sometimes they have the wrong opinions and worst of all take these as facts. Now thats where I guess being opinionated harbours on objection. If you're opinionated, understand that you are. Don't confuse your opinion with a fact. As a literature student and during the course of my newswriting module, I learnt to value this significant difference, both while speaking and writing. It can mislead both you as well as the others who may be attending to you.

I guess every one is opinionated to some extent and for some things. Some people like to pass judgements on other people's style quotient (I would probably score a measly score and if possible would make it on Blackwells worst dressed list..hahaha), others on who's in and who out, who is bright and who is a dudder...etc etc. But as long as our opinions aren't causing a wreckage in ours or the lives of others...there is nothing wrong. I guess.

I'll leave you with this really funny judgement an acquaintance once made on people of different nationalities:
Indians talk too much, Britishers drink too much, Americans are too arrogant, Chinese are too greedy, Germans are too stiff, Italians are too loose. Gosh! she made me laugh out loud while narrating her experiences abroad that led to these juicy comments. But I hope she changed her mind after meeting me-an Indian who hopefully doesn't fit that typecast (I was only listening to her for an hour...almost) and ofcourse her boyfriend...who is British =).
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When you cry
My family always tells me that when I'm upset it reflects in my eyes. I admit, I'm pathetic at shrouding my emotions. This is especially the case when I'm down and feel like crying...hard. You can see the tears in my eyes. They will surely flow out.

When I was a kid, it was OK. Somehow babies and kids ALWAYS have the privilege of crying, having the world see their tears and pacify them. That goes off when you grow up.

You are suddendly supposed to be this strong and mature person. The first rule of being strong and mature is- Avoid crying and if thats impossible then avoid others from seeing your tears.
So at 20, I'm supposed to be like that...pronto. If you knew me since I was a kid..you would know that I always cry.

You know how people do funny stuff when they're trying to get out of a tight spot, a problem, an emotional crisis...For me..that funny stuff comprises crying. Just letting the tears flow in..irrespective of where I am. Guess I'll never qualify for that strong, mature spot.

But really, why do people think crying shows your weakness? You know...its SO HARD. You feel so lonely. Even among people. The pain is yours and only your heart and biologically your brain can feel its depth. That feeling is not easy.

Besides, whats wrong in it. Yes! you do feel lonely, but you are venting your sorrow without any destruction. Even scientific research, by the way, supports the statement that crying is actually good for your psychological balance.

So yes, I did, do and will cry. For me, crying is the first step to problem solving. My family still says that sometimes I cry too much. Guess they'll just have to keep saying that..coz in the spirit of One Tree Hill: "I don't wanna be anything other than me" and that comes with a good share of tears.

Loser...NAH...just another girl with over active tear glands...haha. My mother has finally resorted to accepting my way with problems and says that "its when she's crying, that I know she'll be fine"=P.
Nitez..keep trying..crying and trying again..hehe

The death of Mahatma Gandhi
There was a great man, from my country, who taught our big nation small things with big meanings. His name was M.K. Gandhi, fondly remembered as 'bapu' or "father of the nation".
Its his birthday on the 2nd of October and strangely, I find that his birthday just reminds me of the years that have passed since his death. More so, the death of his invaluable lessons-those small things with big meanings.

Recently, Shaheen and me went to watch a beautiful movie dedicated to him- "Lage raho Munna Bhai" translated as "Keep at it, young brother". Now, for all these big shot memories of bapu, I was more keen on watching a chick flick. Haven't involved in brainless comedy for a LONG time. While she, the non-Indian, Pakistani girl with the mystical eyes...wanted to WATCH it REAL BAD! So, I gave in. So many people literally imploring me to watch it....Call me shifty(I'm a Gemini) but sadly this is the case with many of my fellow Indians. Atleast I remember Bapu, his birthday and to a certain extent practise his preaching.

The movie cleared the dust that seemed to have gathered on my respect for the man and his teachings. Yes! I admire people like that. I don't think they are losers in the modern context. Just that they are beyond the respect and understanding of ordinary folk.

Ordinary people fight, scream, bitch 24/7, are loud, are only concerned with day to day dressing, their boyfriends and girlfriends, their grades (for some), their job WHATEVER- they are just ordinary...sadly 90% of us are like that.

Lets talk about India. 40% of us, live under the poverty line, most of us fight with our fellows- the south Indian ridicules the North Indian, the North Indian looks down on the south Indian, they fight with their neighbours, the rich folks dress up-just to look in, put on the FAKE accents,boast about our stupid trips abroad, "hey you know, I just went to Australia". Morons...I'll be suprised if they can even tell that Australia is down south of the globe and taken as one of the continents. I've encountered such ridiculous people so often that I don't even want to say any more. You know, sometimes I look around and find that I'm not Ms. popular, I don't have many buddies. But I'm glad that I don't have friends like that, who would shame enemies. These are people who turn around and say (in their made up, more American than original American accent) "WTF, please don't tell me that following bapu is in...the guy got himself SHOT girl. His non-violent simplicity s**t is dead and irretrievable" These are the people who have truly killed Bapu. For people die, but their memories live on. These people are even killing his memories-all his words and teachings.

I'll do a small follow up on Bapu...perhaps on his birthday, with a short write up on HIS STUFF. I think every person has something to learn from this man and the many others in his sphere- Lincoln, Churchill, Roosevelt, M.L. King and the like.

For now, I'll conclude the entry with a beautiful piece of advice from Gandhi, a.k.a The Mahatma (divine soul) and you'll hopefully see just how rocking he is..
"Freedom is not worth having if it doesn't include the freedom to make mistakes"

Power hungry...
"When the love for power is overpowered by the power of love, the world would be a much better place"
-M. L. King
I feel that when Maslow was inventing his needs triangle, he forgot to put another of the basic human needs in the base of the pyramid- the need for power.
People are power hungry. period. We all crave for a position of power, where WE can dictate terms. True. SO TRUE and so sorrowful.
You think I'm a lunatic for declaring it sorrowful? Debate a bit. If you have recently been browsing the papers, you would realise that suddenly there is a virtual deluge of power hungry people. Prime ministers and presidents of countries like Hungary, the UK, Thailand are adamantly sticking to their stupid posts despite all the opposition. Ok, maybe 10 Downing street is a fantastic address, but really is it worth all the muck landing on your face from the hostility surrounding the situation, the hunger for everlasting power?

You may say that not being power hungry equates to not having any motivation....yes yes...I know ALL THAT. I even agree...but only to a particular point. Most people tend to jump over that thin red line. THATS SORROWFUL.

There are people who go against their principles. People who thwart morals and self respect. A certain Indian celebrity once confessed that in becoming the big shot actress she is today, she had compromised on some of the most important and vital things in her life. Worst of all, she had circumsized her character.

Thats one way people achieve power. But there are also people, who simply wish to appear powerful and in command by ALWAYS wanting to make themselves stand out..even in insignificant places like restuarants. People who are always TALKING LOUDLY, virtually screaming, throwing their weight around. People who go BLING and dress in the most gaudy colours. Wear the most outrageous, shocking pink and putrific purple outfits. Really such people PUT ME OFF. I'm a staid person. agreed. But really even I can make out when something is like so totally OFF. Sadly such people and incidents ABOUND.

Many powerful people are such B******s and B****es. Who cheat on their dutiful wives and abiding husbands. These are the people, so consumed with the need that they have sold their souls to it and have luckily been successful. Its like an addiction. I've seen many people languish their lives pursuing it. SAD.

I for one don't like to strive TOO hard for anything. Chasing things has become an ANTI to me. Power is among those many things that I don't really care for. Blame my background, blame the easy life I've had on the whole, blame WHATEVER. But really I much rather have things smooth. Like they are. I would do just what I can, comfortably and leave the rest to FLOW in. Thats what I think is best. Fatalistic. Yes. But not to me.

Really, I see that seeking power, money and the like has often caused more damage than anything else. You saw what happened to Thaksin...got kicked out. The best example ever would be HITLER. He sought power like no one else..and instead of raising Germany, he downgraded it to a graveyard for millions. Need I say more. Peace be unto you.

About being GLOBAL citizens.
I recently had the pleasure of attending a function at my bro's school, "The United Nations Night". It's a regular celebration at his school- The Overseas Family School (OFS). Being an international school, OFS, has the fortune of having several different nationalities under its roof. There are Australians, Americans, Germans, French, British, Spanish, Koreans, Japanese, Thai, Israelies, Icelanders (!), Indians, Sri Lankans..and many more different nationalities.
The night brought all these nationalities under one belt, that of the United Nations. A world body, often criticiqued. But still it remains important. Despite everything it still emphasises the message of "the one harmonious world", as was evident in the night's celebration.

The students introduced themselves and their home countries, speaking in the local language. There was even an "East coast, Singapore", to much laughter from the mostly international audience. There were traditional acts performed by many of the various nationalities. There was also the Flag ceremony where students hoisted their national flags and foodstalls were set up with dishes unique to specific countries (the Indian Samosa was a HIT, but I believe the Mexican Tacos with salsa, the American Pizza, the Bangladeshi rice dish and the Australian cakes to be QUITE well recieved as well). At any rate, I returned a satisfied person..both in the mind as well as the stomach!

More than anything else, the night stirred in me a sense of the importance in trying to be global citizens. No, this ain't the same as globalisation. Globalisation is about bringing together this wide world, while being a global citizen implies having a liberal and accepting way of thinking. Its about stepping out of your milieu and appreciating (with all honesty) the strengths of other cultures and places. You might not have the resources to go globe trekking, but whenever you come across an experience from a different part of a world- in the form of a TV programme, meeting a person from a different country, maybe tasting food from another country..whatever DIFFERENT experience try and absorb it rather than admonishing it. See what are its strengths, what you can learn from it. Don't just laugh about the seeming 'peculiarity', otherwise you would remain blind and prejudiced like many people I have encountered.

In some ways, I'm happy that my brother's school is imparting in its students this GLOBAL feeling. I see him talking about his Jewish, Muslim, Indian, Icelander friends-all having a conversation...about their homelands. No one criticizes, but each is surprised at the newness provided by the other. This is about making a head start into being a global citizen. Its about following these lovely words by Gerry Spencer:
"I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief".
Really being a global citizen is about breaking out of binding beliefs and opening one's mind to the wonder that lies outside of them. A mindset, where the western world sees the serenity and virtues of sacred Islam while Muslims and especially people who are squandering their lives in terrorism see the progressive thinking of the west that has elevated their societies to such major development. The world would be saved from impending doom........

Reading is Advisable
I know I'm being most AUNTY, saying this...but really YOU MUST AND SHOULD READ. I'm forced to be this blunt because recently I came across a group of Kids who HATE READING! My, I could not believe them...ranting about books. Blasphemous to person like me whose life, you can say, depends on reading.

You know, for a person who decided to pursue a literature course at university-I started reading VERY LATE...around my 5th or 6th grade..which is somewhere during my secondary days. Was mostly restrained to magazines and comics before. But once I started, I can say in a very fantastical way, I found this whole new peace when reading.

My mind felt calm (No I was not reading any religious book, just your regular novels). Somehow, it felt good going over solid words about life. More credible, besides, not that I'm a nosy poker...but we all enjoy knowing someone else's views on various things in life. I could carry around my novel anywhere...and loose myself in its pages when I wished to disengage with things in my surroundings. Trust me it works. A good novel will keep you away from looking and paying attention to stuff you don't wish to attend to.

Besides, I often find myself more intesely involved and receptive when reading patiently rather than watching TV or reading material over the net.

Its really something different. Movies and TV programmes are no longer made on many subjects that books cover. I understand all that Jazz about "paper wastage" but really then...why don't you simply cut down on using notebooks (the paper ones sweetheart..not those stupid Macs) and use the computer to store your writings (if you do write) and other stuff? Bill Gates produced the best WORD ever (get the pun). Or better still, lets not have books for buying...simply produce copies for all of the world's libraries! Great! Ain't it. The author's can still make money because fortunately there are millions of libraries around the world, and yes! people will finally step into them. I had a friend..who first VENTURED into the library in the 9th grade...WOW...said that FAT books and endless rows of such one's at that...REALLY INTIMIDATED HIM! So you see its an advantageous proposition both ways.

I could really go on...about people who lived in the days of yore..with little but novels for entertainment..but I don't wish to bore you..nor do i find the energy to continue typing after a long session of morning swimming which took a truckload of my energy and more so my will.

So I'll end with a doctor-like prescription..Reading books is advisable. Go slowly..if you're a starter. Take the thinner, abridged version, but READ. Story books are the BEST..short stories, novels, whatever and yes...if you need any recommendations you can always ask ME! One last thing- keep the book a good distance away from your eyes...otherwise you'll be needing specs like me..hahaha.

By the way...for all book lovers..last Wednesday I believe was ROALD DAHL day...the sweet looking man behind much loved novels like Matilda, Charlie and the Chocolate factory...(a BIG LIST)..Really, if I got transported back in time and somehow got an oppurtunity..I would LOVE to date him..we would probably have the best, most stimulating conversation filled with most interesting nitty gritty of his much more than ordinary life...:)

You must REALLY AVOID these
Ok girls out there: single and on the look out; I must warn you- if you are the kind who swoon on the soft, metrosexual guys, the real lady killers with those graceful features who seem to make your heart melt with their sacrificial (I know this is grammatically wrong) appearance and their talent....RUN FOR COVER.
These are the WORST fella's to ever FOLLOW..trust me. I have had many girlfriends cry their hearts out after break up's with SUCH fellas...so seriously I thought I might as well share their plight by telling you to turn blind to these kinda BOYS...honestly.
Just ignore their good looks, good dressing..and whatever you might think is good about them. PLEASE keep a mile away from these losers. They'll break your heart..in such a hushed yet harsh manner that the wounds won't die...for a LONG LONG time...and everytime you see their face, their presence among their many FRIENDS (and secret crushes)...the hatred will just SEETH through you...coz their look both indulgent yet ignorant..far away FROM YOU..will pierce your soft and genuine heart. So I'm telling you forget them quicker than you forget the table of 3976.period.
And no I'm no heart broken lover. I'm good at forgeting any unpleasentness anyway and you can call me fickle minded at that. I'll forget, try to forgive and NEVER LOOK BACK.period. again.

Somebody Told me...
My BLOG's too huge! Every entry is like a mini essay..whoa..so long! Thats what I was told by a friend and fellow blogger.
Now I'm thinking *really is it that painful to your eyes*, I thought if pieces were interesting enough people would definitely read through till the end.
But I guess even the critics have a point. However, this is MY BLOG. Its my way of expressing and sharing the zillion thoughts that cross my mind every moment. So I will blog about them the way I want and if that is in the mini essay way..well that is how its gonna be.
Bill Cosby said : "I dunno what the key to success is, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody"
To follow this advice was my new year resolution and so I'm gonna do that and keep at it=)

Moments that make you think...
I dunno whether you've had them...but have you ever felt that your life was for more? That you were MADE for a certain something, a particular purpose, a predetermined destiny?

I've had days when I suddenly feel like I'm on this elevated plane and I see past moments from my life and I feel that it all is leading upto something bigger, more profound for me. That life is not just about the daily grind..the usual stuff.

All this literature I love, the emotional Westlife songs that I adore (yes! they're my favourite English band even though they've made more from covers), the Indian music that I like, the arty pursuits, the mass comm course, all the voluntary work and well all the writing and debating competitions.....basically EVERYTHING and ANYTHING that has physically been a part of my life. includes itself in this vision for tommorrow.

I feel Shakespeare's verses coming alive: All the world's a stage and every man an actor upon it.
I wonder what's my role..
and its so serene yet scary.
Because I realize that how much ever dearly I try to cling on some things, they will one fine day leave me and I will have to FIGHT the fight MYSELF and I'm thrown into this wierd mental frame. You see there are people who love to be out there..but I'm not one of them. I'm not very ambitious or rather I'm happy slacking when I can.

I don't like the feeling of insecurity, the feeling of floating in the deep with nothing to support you save yourself. I cannot imagine my life without my family, or rather without ranting to my mom. With no worldy tension on my head: financial hassles, domestic burdens etc etc. Doing whatever I please, whenever I please, however I please is something I'm kinda used to and I'm not too fond of stepping out of my comfort zone really. But moments like these get you out of this rosy picture. I'll admit I'm quite a nouveau at worldly realities. My life has pretty much been easy on the whole and I want it to be just the same.

Even at 20 I feel like a kid. Blind to so many things, almost ignoring them in the face. But something about these moments tells me I cannot continue like this forever..that there has to be and will be a metamorphosis..and it will only be for the better..how good and how total it will be I dunno. For now I'm happy with life...and I guess living for the present is all I can and should do..and so I do. Afterall-
The Past is history,the Future a mystery...so live for today and enjoy it:)

Is beauty Everything?
Now, I was just watching the cartoon: "Hunchback of the Notre Dame II"...poor Quassimodo. For the uninitiated, he's the hunchback. Eventhough its a cartoon and I know all that jazz about the difference between reel and real, but still I'm being rather drawn and irritated by all this rarara about beauty being EVERYTHING.

Is it really so important for you to only have an eye for the beauty and ignore the beast all together. Is being beautiful the start all and end all for people. Why are people going bonkers about their look, always bothered about how they look, how others look at them, do the right people see them...Oh dear, that oh-so-cute fella in my class...how I wish to draw his eye...like ewww....girl..hold it..and I'm not going to spare the guys...puhleaze..I know more than 1 guy who spends hours gelling and setting his hair, choosing his clothes, his shoes..what not..(Even though I'm single, I am NOT a nouveau at these things...GOT A TEENAGE BRO AT HOME FOR WHAT?)

But really jokes apart...I'm FED UP....wherever I look, I see people trying so hard with their look-EVERYWHERE. You know how every morning you look in the mirror and check out yourself. How everytime you try to look your best and feel your best and ask yourself whether particular people would notice you...

Well..Nothing wrong there. I won't be a hypocrite..I've taken part in the guilty pleasure myself..haha. But honestly, what REALLY irritates me is the feeling of helplessness we sometimes give those who may not look so good. The stare when you glance at that FAT person on the street, the handicapped person,the disfigured person, the defaced person, the pretty average person, how you gossip maliciously about that not-so-in person...Just check out some Oprah episodes for a check.

That I will say without a flinch..is wrong..and no, I'm not being immodest but honestly I've indulged in my share of girly bitching but never about people who suffer like this. But yes, I've heard people bitch like that...or maybe not bitch but just pass these nasty comments about the way a certain someone looks and what upsets me is that I've simply been an audience and never refuted.

I know people who recount such negative experiences about their life during their not-so-good looking days and it has affected me in a not-so-good way. So I blog about it, sharing my experience.

There is a certain girl, who during her "fat girl" days was so shunned by her classmates that it affected her to the extent of contemplating suicide! Thank god that she developed the courage and decided to get in shape rather than get up, above...Gosh...she spoke of boys not wanting to even SPEAK to her...B*****ds. She told me candidly that even though girls were equally bad, it was the boys whose behaviour hurt her even more. Author Gratian Vaz has said that sometimes its being slighted by the opposite sex that hurts more...especially during your teenage years. Thankfully I haven't EVER thought of anything even remotely close to suicide despite being chubby at 20 and about boys...frankly at this time in life: I DON'T CARE..read: I've passed my teenage...:P

Even a certain guy once admitted that during his high school days he could never work it with the girls. No dates for the graduation day party. His self confidence and esteem were quite ill effected. Thankfully he overcame this situation. Yes! I'll add in candidly, God, he said may not have given him much in the looks department but gave him enough in his coffers..:P..so he consulted a makeover artist..and bingo...there's no looking back he says...

So, coming back to the point: is beauty everything. No it ain't. You may read about people who are obsessed about looking good, these by the way are the people who have made the beauty business a billion dollar enterprise. But honestly, as they say: beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. You will always have cases where you may wonder "what beauty does she see in him" or "what beauty does he see in her" or even for people in the same sex...but still it amounts to the same thing. Seeing the GOOD in others, seeing the BEAUTY in others.

Quassimodo found his golden maiden..his small miracle..Even though Socrates was the ugliest man in Rome, we still read and appreciate his philosophies and I know of countless couples where I keep trying to figure out what they saw in each other. But my eye cannot see what there's did. Love is blind..is pretty much in tangent to beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. We all will grow old someday and let me assure you, with all that fat, those wrinkles, we won't make such a pretty sight, unless ofcourse you have the guts and the greens to go under the knife. But if you see the beauty...you will continue to see it.

I know people laugh at the natural beauty BS but I guess its seeing, knowing, appreciating and finally loving a person's essence..thats where personally, beauty lies for me. As for what I find beautiful....hmm..I'm telling myself that there's some beauty in everybody and I must just appreciate that. Though I'll admit head on that Eva, Shaheen, Fer and Winnie: you girls are the prettiest mass commer gals..haha...and NIHI...I love you..and...also that someone up there for being with me always...in essence.

Thou shalt see thy self....
Ok..so the archaic English simply means..YOU SHALL SEE YOURSELF...and was used because currently I'm reading Shakespeare in his original style..which for any of you sceptics is ARCHAIC...Anyways...

During my first semester in Ngee Ann Mass communications, I came across a rather interesting comment during an ice-breaking session. When asked to tell the class something about themselves, one of my classmates said in a classic, unabashed and casual manner: I love myself! Narracisstic, you might think..but actually I quite admired his honesty. Not many people would risk immodesty by making such a statement. However, as time passes I realize that we go through and tolerate so much rubbish just because we don't want to be titled immodest and I think thats the biggest bit of RUBBISH (with the british accent where the U has a characteristic pronunciation. I'll enunciate it for some of you if and when we meet, otherwise you may just want to hear the British cricket commentators).

Anyways, the point of this entry is not about immodesty or british accent(!)..its more about loving yourself. You know, how my entry on love emphasised that love is not simply restricted to the narrow dimension we give it and well Oscar Wilde, one of my favourite English authors emphasised it in the following thought: Love can sometimes be as simple as loving oneself. Ofcourse I don't propound the very childish and bordering on arrogant philosophy: I matter more than anybody else. But much rather I matter as much as anybody else...(and sometimes a bit more :P).

I know more than a handful of people with high potential, who in facing life's daily battles have forgotten to love themselves and give themselves that crucial pat on the back regularly. Mistakes happen daily, people screw up regularly...its NOTHING new. So whats the point in constantly looking at what went wrong, repenting and discouraging oneself? Looking at what went right is so much better. As for what went wrong...just learn from your mistakes and MOVE ON...Trust me...Here you have a master..uhmm..mistress..uhmm...whatever.. speaking with a truckload of experience....(Just incase ur wondering, master is male and mistress connotes something totally different:!)

Events in my life have taught me that if I can't be agreeable to myself and always depend on outside people for my dose of encouragement..I'll NEVER progress. Most people are selfish.period. Its you..and your closest family that you can count on..Even god they say only helps those who help themselves....so you're seeing the importance of this...yah?

You know one look at myself and I can point fingers at so many things...the list is endless but the bottomline is that I still like to appreciate what I have and thats what I feel everyone should do..Its this one short life we have with us and nobody would be getting out of it alive as it is..so why not ENJOY while you're breathing..haha...Have fun YOUR way and DON'T feel sorry about it.

What we're scared of?
If you ask me...I'll tell you that possibly I'm the biggest coward on earth and there are innumerable things that frighten me.

But I recently came across the strangest bit of truth, while reading this book on Human psychology. Most people are fearful of fear....thats both brave and brash I feel. But when I delved a bit deeper into my own conscience, I realized that it was rather true.

You know how we keep tauting "loneliness" as the biggest human fear. But the fact is that we fear the fear of being alone more than being alone. Ordinarily, you wouldn't mind keeping yourself company...Its when the fearful aspect of loneliness grips you that you fear it. To give examples from my own life....
I'm not scared of water as such, but I fear the fear of drowning, I don't fear complicated machines but I fear the fear that I will make a total fool of myself if I can't tackle them properly..getting the hang of it?

You know, I realized that the old saying: face your fear and your fear will dissappear is rather meaningful and useful to both practise as well as preach. Ordinarily I would just choose to ignore my fears. But it dawned upon me that "ignorance is bliss" doesn't always work. It often keeps us away from action, especially when it comes to dealing with fears.

So am I hundred times braver? Ready to face any and all of my fears...NO, I don't think that is likely to ever happen. But atleast I know that its the feeling of fear rather than the activity itself that scaring me...so next time..I'm more likely to think about giving a shot to new, unexperimented-by-me stuff rather than plainly avoiding things that seem scary all together.....

EMBARRASSING Moments...
Hey all...this is blogger Meghaa a.k.a Meg reporting for duty after a days due break..(Sigh) Been a bit sick actually. Strangely, stuff is always long drawn for me...even a teeny-weeny cold worsened into a sinus infection..thats left me with a long course of medicines for the next 2 weeks and continued bed rest..yucks....HATE SICKNESS....So if my posts aren't as regular as I hoped to make them...my apologies.

Anyways, today I wished to blog about embarrassment. Those tongue-in-cheek moments that are meant to leave everybody laughing except you. I remember two people at this point: Nihira and Shaheen...two people who I got close to..in two different places..haha. Nihi..I remember the wonderful walks we enjoyed on Bandra seaface and Juhu...god..they were so out-of-this-world. We would be laughing like mad at the embarrassments we landed ourselves into..remember..Hrithik uncle....hahahahaa. As for Shaheen..this is one hell-of-an-organised girl...atleast when it comes to embarrassing herself..So I always find her giggling incredulously at my knack for getting to situations...hahahaa. Nevertheless they are both close friends...although I've known Nihi longer...and they have both been entertained by my..visions. No "Thats so Raven" psychotic visions people...just incredibly FUNNY imagination=).

This imagination is revealed to those close to me or those well acquainted. It gives me uncontrollable fits of laughter which keep the people around me in splits as well....VISUALIZING a joke by the way makes it 100 times funnier but let me tell you the laughter that follows can make people think that you are a bit...barmy..to say the least.

However..there is another problem..you see..under usual circumstances I tend to have the geeky, serious girl look or so I've been told and sometimes I AM like that: serious, or should I say pensive. In these situations the light hearted nature of things just doesn't register in my mind. So...I'm EMBARRASSED.

Like the other time in TV production. I was to impersonate a KID..a little girl to be precise, another classmate of mine was to impersonate a makeup artist doing me up for Halloween and the script...gosh..the dialogues were raving...if you see them from my perspective at the time: a twenty year old, in a serious mindset impersonating a LITTLE GIRL for a HALLOWEEN Makeup episode. Well, I'll admit I don't quite like TV pro. It ain't my area and I pretty much suck at it...so sitting in is a job thats quite easy- to be sure. But that day I had more serious matters at hand. Anyhow, I gave my MAKEUP artist classmate my paints and brushes..which I was to use for a painting excursion later that day and told him and I guess everybody in toe that I was allergic to the horse hairs on the damn brushes. But I guess the lights, camera and everything else made this guy go a bit...googly..and he seemed to think that he WAS the makeup man..so well..there he goes uttering funny one liners, treating me like a kiddo and putting the damn brush all over my face..close to my NOSE...gosh..you should have seen me cough..no water in my vicinity et al. WORST OF ALL...we had to retake! So there I go again. Anyways, the fella told me he would not bring the brush near me again...THANKFULLY...I guess even he wasn't expecting the allergic response and come to think of it, in another mindset I would probably have laughed off the thing.. Besides, I don't think he was doing it intentionally...felt sorry a while later, because I thought I was a bit rude. But then again it wasn't as if I too was at fault...just the DAMN situation...I felt embarrassed about it later...nevertheless the best way of tackling embarrassment is to literally LAUGH if OFF...thats what I did..hahaha.

Many such things have happened to me....real swell foot-in-mouth jokes..but thats for when you know me better;).

For now..I shall bid adieu..and the next time you're embarrassed just remember that there's always me..getting into worse embarrassments and ofcourse the moral of the story: laugh off embarrassments, it will keep you and your close ones merry most of the time..:)

Living Today...
"have you seen him...please...he is the father of 2 kids...2 babies....."
A widow cries out carrying a photograph of her dead husband, in a 9/11 footage showing on National Geographic.
"Many widows came crying to me, asking for help, asking if I had seen their husbands or if I could just locate his corpse or even a part of him. Most went home with nothing......."
-Fire chief Richard Picchiado, post the tragedy

WE all know of 9/11. Its a date that created modern day history...a date thats approaching in 4 days from today..a memorial that marks the death of 2994 people....People just like you and me. They went to work on a supposedly ordinary morning and their world came (literally) crashing down on them.

To be honest, I could not at the time register the IMPACT of the disaster. But watching a minute by minute replay in the National Geographic documentary: Inside 9/11, made shivers run down my spine. It was so rife with tension that I could barely keep myself from watching it like a normal, unattached audience. One line stuck with:
"The twin towers have collapsed. What was there this morning when we woke up is there no longer....."

I do not wish to go over the whole episode, pointing fingers at either Osama or Bush. I don't even wish to linger any more over the incredibly moving footage of tears that streamed down unknown faces or debris that scattered around making New York's posh lower Manhattan look more like a nuclear wasteland. What is gone is gone....TV networks have moved on to more upto date news...CURRENT issues. People, have *hopefully* moved on from the wreckage of that episode in their lives. But the towers have been lost and so have the thousands of people who died that day.....

A tragedy is a tragedy..its just the same...anywhere and in any circumstance it takes place. The Mumbai train blasts were no different. This violence and bloodshed has become such a routine in our lives today that going over it in this blog sounds most redundant to me. So I'll focus on stuff that we as individuals can atleast digest and assimilate into our lives.

I do not like crying over spilt milk..but I realize that whats lost can never be redeemed. It can only be remembered...period..Our loves and lives are FOR NOW...don't wait for tommorrow. Because what is today will be lost tommorrow. If you like somebody, wish to compliment somebody, want to sort out a misunderstanding, feel some tension in your heart: resolve it at the soonest and don't carry forward any baggage.

Tommorrow should be reserved for new hopes and fond memories, otherwise your shoulders will become way too heavy. Imagine spending a whole lifetime carrying forth unnecessary baggage: unrequited love, unresolved fights, friends who turned foes, grades that hit rock bottom....Just concentrate on living fully, loving deeply and letting go of things never meant for you...thats all...and thats for each successive day.

Besides reserving tommorrow for change, will avoid the sorrow that may come if TOMMORROW NEVER COMES...Its true. Life is becoming short and death, a daily occurance in the world we inhabit today. So live today and stock away all the baggage of the past.

I understand fully that things are easier said than done. My blog is replete with lessons and experiences I've had. They HAVE ALL been HARD. period. But I feel that putting it into words..like this...would help me in a catharsis of sorts and maybe..*I hope, fingers crossed* make a difference to atleast someone..among the millions in cyberspace who may come across it.

To conclude with these famous lines from a famous Bollywood movie that pay an ode to today:
"Visualize another dream today, aaj ek sapna aur dekh lo
Share another happiness today, aaj ek khushi aur bant lo
Drink up another tear today, aaj ek aansu aur pee lo
Live another lifetime today, aaj ek zindagi aur jee lo
For tommorrow may or may not be there, kya pata..Kal ho na ho"
(I'm not too sure about the order..but the meaning is down pat...for any bollywood fans:)

First Impressions
Shakespeare, in his eloquent, archaic English play "Merchant of Venice" waxes lyrical:
"So may the outward shows be least themselves, the world is still decieved by ornament"
Translation: What you see on the outside may be an absolute lie, but despite this knowledge people are still lured by outside appearances and therein first impressions.

Even if you are the least bit interested in literature, you CANNOT deny the fact. How many of us can admit without a hint of deception that we have not been drawn to attractive people?People who look right, dress right and umm...smell right:P. Its a universal trait...the world IS attracted to dandies and darlings...

According to scientific research, people form their first impressions within the first few seconds of a meeting. Thus its not surprising that first impressions are based 50% on the visual appeal of the other person and 25% each on the content and tone of communication that passes. Afterall, how much noteworthy communication can take place in such a short span of time. This fact can be well applied to the job market, where looking right for the interview is often considered just as important as anything else.

Research has also shown that people who seem to have the right effect on others, i.e. get people to develop positive first impressions of them tend to have better self esteem. Quite the reverse effect takes place for those who consistently fail at doing so.

So...feeling LOW..? Because you happen to be those not successful with the first impression jargon? One not counted among the uhmm beautiful people. Don't despair coz making a positive first impression has little correlation to how successful you get in life. Not every beauty queen is a social success and Socrates afterall was the ugliest man in Rome.

Thus FIRST IMPRESSIONS really don't hold that much water. In a study, a group of couples were asked about how they fell in love. Hardly any of them said it was love at first sight...i.e. a product of first impressions. Most of them credited it to a couple of meetings over coffee:) So if you're worrying that prince charming will never come around since you would not catch his eye...fret not (reverse for the guys...princess charming..hehe)

In a two decade long lifetime I find, things that and people who look oh-so-cute upon a glance are often not that worth-it. Being attracted to something or someone is all together different from true appreciation and respect. My school days are replete with stories of first impressions that I or my friends had about a certain someone and what it generated: sometimes a never-meant-to-be crush and sometimes malicious gossip about a not-so-bad person.

All of us I suppose have been subjected to and have subjected others to the limitations of first impressions. But wisdom pleads that we should not refrain our judgement of others to this. People are not merely a product of how they appear or worse still, how they are spoken about. If we don't correct this we would find ourselves missing out on quite a bit.period.

To conclude, yet again with the verses from Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice:
"All that glisters is not gold, often have you heard that told, many a man-his life hath sold, but my outside to behold, guilded tombs do worms enfold.."
Translation: All that glitters is not gold, you may have heard that many times. But men rarely follow this saying, selling their lives to falseful first impressions: things that look pretty from outside are not always the same from inside. However beautiful a tomb maybe it still possesses rot and worms.

A LOT LIKE LOVE...
I was going through an old scrap book of thoughts that I cut out from magazines, newspapers and what not.
IT WAS FULL OF THOUGHTS ON LOVE...

Went down for a walk, to Orchard road- a glitzy market place near my residence. Again I saw all these lovey-dovey couples and near the cinema house-posters for romantic movies, a stroll into the CD shop and the latest CD's were all full of romantic songs..
Really...Our life is FULL of Love..even if we're single!

Cheesy, as it all may sound...its hard to imagine life without all this. Take me for example, even if I remain single for the rest of my life...fed up of all this romantic BS (Bull Shit) , I'd still prefer watching soft romantic movies, reading soft romantic novels, listening to soft romantic music and watching soft romantic TV programmes to most other entertainment avenues.

But truth be told, loving is the essence of human nature. If you don't have a semblance of love, you are no longer human. For which person in the whole wide world doesn't wish to love and be loved by others? Nay..I don't know ANYBODY like that. Just that people have their own ways of defining it. Some people restrict love to the very obvious BF/GF romantic love. But love, in all reality is over and beyond that. It comprises all that touches your heart..the depths of your soul.
Your love for your parents, your siblings, your close friends, your accomplishments, what you wish to make of yourself and your life: it encompasses all this and much more.

As a literature student, I had come across a term: romantic literature in my coursebook. I thought we would be studying my favourite-romantic novels! However, if you ever study English Literature-Romantic literature comprises classic poems and stories by authors romanticizing nature.

"I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known", said Walt Disney. I'm sure that the rich, successful, fair looking man that he was, Disney must have known several enchanting women. But he loved Mickey mouse. No I'm not ridiculing the man, just trying to make the point that love is over and beyond the narrow minded approach many people have towards it.

More than the actual- I meet this amazing guy and we fall for each other- love is about- I meet with an experience that touches my heart and stays for a lifetime. In that, love comprises everything I fore mentioned, which makes you see all the good there is to life.

Even if things don't work out...as it happens many-a-times, savour the experience and forget all else. For in love, as in life itself-you stumble very often. But every stumbling is yet again an experience.

Too long already? haha..so to conclude with Leo Tolstoy:
"All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love"...go ahead..love a little...cry a lot...and understand that life at its best is a journey to becoming the person you were meant to become and its engine runs on the experience that is love.

Daily Inspiration
I'm inspired by the acts of great people...M.K. Gandhi, M.L.King, A. Lincoln, W. Churchill etc etc.
This was what came out when a beauty pageant contestant was asked: Whats your inspiration? But to be honest, I don't think the girl knew much about these great personalities or the depth of their achievements. No, I'm not panning beauty pageant contestants just admitting a fact which applies perhaps to all of us.

How can one be inspired by acts so seperated from our being, not just temporaly but even in essence. The times have changed and so has man. period. At best, we can try to emulate atleast in part some of their skills. But for inspiration, we need to look closer to home.

How much ever we criticize our peers or complain about them, there is always something in them which we can learn from and in that something lies our DAILY INSPIRATION. Sadly people are so caught up in their own woes that this daily dose for the soul is often missed. But just a try and you can sense the very many advantages there are to seeing, if only for the once, the good in others. This positive stance, keeps you receptive to healthy and often heartening developments which can serve as inspiration during the weakest of moments.

There was time when I got caught up in the Mumbai rains. The flooding was immense and to reach my house I had to wade through knee deep water, the sight of which made me freeze. You see Mumbai is 1. a dirty place and 2. you never know when you might encounter a open manhole. I was about to give up hope when I saw this lady with a baby wade through.....that was it...I got my inspiration and well...followed suit.

Next, fast forward to Singapore. I'm doing this Mass comm course. People say that mass commers are a proud, vain, bitchy lot who consider themselves above everyone else. But what I encountered was a group of mass commers who willing went bald for a good cause...I wouldn't dream of doing that...kudos to them...and well...inspiration to moi.

Space constraints limit the very many examples I have to offer, but what is evident from the nature of such instances is that inspiration lies in the smallest of things, but it is upto the person whether he or she wishes to take it or ignore it.

All I can offer is food for thought: next time you find yourself in a situation, try seeing the inspiration rather than the inadequacy, you may find yourself happier and more fulfilled.

What I choose to do with my life
There are days for work, days for play...and well days for NOTHING...you just sit by and see time fly past..feeling totally aimless..almost like in a drunken daze..NO I DON'T DRINK..period. But I do have my fair share of days marked by lethargy at its award winning best...Especially when I'm off from school (which when on, is equivalent to spending a whole day running on the treadmill..phew) and its on days like these that I come down to incubating and introspecting about stuff like: what I choose to do with my life.

Thats a complicated question, considering that I've changed my "what I want to be" motto nearly a 100 times in life...and believe me...it has practically covered every possible occupation. Right now I find myself doing a rather glam mass communication course..but seriously I do not know where this would take me.

No..I'm not unambitious or aimless. But the experience of 20 years has taught me that some things in life are better left unsaid...or rather left to time.

You must have heard the saying: Man the maker of his destiny. While I do believe in it, I also realize that destiny too has a sway in your life. Whether you accept my point or not, I believe it to be more fact than fiction.

Many people start off with something and end up with something totally different. I know many such people. For instance, I had this German teacher for a module named Community issues who actually had a degree in archaeology and wanted to pursue it! So well, call it being fatalistic or religious, but I buy the idea of Every man is born with his/her destiny.period. Where this thinking takes me: I don't stress too much about whats waiting for me in the future...anymore. I just try living more in my present. Doing well in whatever I endeavour today and taking everything as a learning experience, is the best I can do.

To conclude, please don't take this to mean that I discourage dreams or I wish to make myself a lazy slob who leaves things to fate, not doing a damn, just that I feel that there is a limit beyond which we should let time take its own course. If something is due to you..it will come. For as Paulo Coelho writes in THE ALCHEMIST:

when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

Read: when you TRULY want something, and by TRULY I mean that its not just what you deserve but really, by some unknown pre determination, something thats the BEST for you.

Lessons of Life: part II
With the current regularity in my blogging I feel I'll become a writing addict soon. As it is I find myself doing too much writing already..what with the NP blog, this one and not to forget my student WRITER job...but practise makes perfect and now that I'm free I see no reason to fret.
So here's my second food for thought entry:
All glory comes from daring to begin.
My room is littered with bric bracs, many of which comprise thoughts like this one. Perhaps, seeing them on an almost regular basis has made me follow atleast some of them in person and I've started with this one right here.
I'm not at all a sporty person. My parents often address me as "baby jumbo" owing to the very obvious fact that I'm loaded with puppy fat that refuses to shed itself. Not that I'm trying really hard to make it go away. But these holidays I decided to implement this saying by giving a shot to swimming.
My condominium has a really cool pool and after much coaxing I finally began swimming lessons last Monday. Was scared to death. honestly. Even in the shallows I felt that I would DROWN..the nut that I am..
But after a while, when I learnt how to control my breathing under water and things became a bit better. My lesson ended, but now I know how to stay afloat and have even tried venturing into the pool myself..haha.
To make it short...this one attempt is making me quite smug..because I realize that indeed any success starts from trying...a journey of a thousand miles also begins with a single footstep. I've taken that and hopefully it'll yield rich dividends. Although I'm not wanting to count my chickens before they hatch, I should perhaps have lost a bit of wieght once school starts....and be good enough to carry off a skirt without looking like bumbling football on an uneven topography.
Cheers to the vision..=)

About Transforming and Moving on...
"Echoes fade, memories die. Autumn frosts have slain July."
-Linda Goodman
Life, as I've experienced it often comprises metaphorphosis. There is never really an end..there are just new beginings. A new moment awaits, a bigger dream spins its yarn and life as you know it up till that point-alters. Whether it alters for the better or worse is upto the individual.
Hubert Humphrey, an actor if I'm not mistaken, once said:
Its not what life takes away from you that counts. It's what you make of what is left with you"
Every change I realize, takes away something...but as this thought says...its what you make of the remanent that counts. Here are some stellar examples of how countries and even ordinary people became extraordinary by dealing with changed circumstances in truly inspirational ways.
When Hiroshima and Nagasaki were bombed, the damage was so severe that not a blade of grass grew on that soil...and it still does not. The Americans had crushed the Japanese cities but they could not crush their spirit. Today Japan has not just recuperated but is in fact the richest country in the Asian Archipelago and one of the top ranked economies in the world.
Everyone knows of Hellen Keller and how she dealt with her blindness to become an idol to many NOT BLIND people.
Oprah Winfrey, who hasn't watched her "The Oprah Winfrey show", a decades long programme that has broken many records in American Television's Talk show history. She has been ranked one of the most powerful figures in Hollywood, in America and even globally. But that does not change the fact that she grew up in a racially discriminated Black milieu. Oprah, as she herself has admitted, grew up with severe insecurities. She was raped and ridiculed. She in fact admits that all she once wanted was to work for a few good white people, now she has many good white people working for her...
I think the world knows about Mahatma Gandhi. Actually Mahatma is a sacred title, prefixed to his name. It implies divinity and that divinity came from his undaunting spirit in uniting the Indian masses against British imperialism. His efforts were instrumental in India's long lasting struggle for Independence...
During the Cricket world cup, 2003 (I think), India was playing a match against Pakistan..(arch rivals). Sachin Tendulkar, one of our star batsman injured his leg..the situation became tricky.Things could have gone bad, but the man continued running between the wickets...bearing all the pain...and well we won despite having to face a huge score of 294 runs..advancing further to finally make it to the world cup finals...
There are MANY such examples of how dealing with change has made history....to go back to where I started...echoes may fade and memories may die...what exists today may end tommorrow. There will always be a transformation..because everyday is a new day. But the story of success begins in dealing with change..and in that- dealing with TODAY...for
"A today well lived makes every tommorrow a dream of happiness: bigger, better and more solid than ever"