Indian beauty etc etc
I've heard it rather often that we Indians have been gifted with good features and if luck plays a part - good complexion. I wouldn't like to touch on the rather touchy issue of skin colour bais that is rather rampant in this country. But yes, if you are fair and you are an Indian, most people would think you good looking just by the description (not the case always though, I assure you with some solid personal experience backing me on this one).

Nevertheless, this whole beauty thing came into focus with Miss India, Parvathy Omnakuttan making it to the First Runner Up position at Miss World. Now, Parvathy, I knew her briefly having spent a few months doing Lit at Mithibai years back, is firmly ensconced in her middle class Indian values and a certain down-to-earth-ness reflects strongly in her personality. Something very refreshing to see in beauty queens.

But the TOD (topic of discussion) is not really Parvathy, or how she cried with shock after missing the main crown, or her personal achievement in going from Mithibai to Miss World to ending the eight year dry run for this country, 'supposedly' filled with beautiful women, at the pageant.

My point is, I sometimes find the whole "Indian people (especially women) are the most beautiful people in the world" statement somewhat farcical simply because I've come to understand that the benchmark of this beauty is quite unrealistic.

Most people who say this, use Bollywood's bevy of beauties as their reference point. Not everyone back home has the looks or for that matter the means of maintaining the looks of an Aishwarya Rai, Preity Zinta or Priyanka Chopra and they certainly aren't the only kind of women you find here. Our country is one of immense, mind-boggling variety - so you have skin tones and features of all kinds and people from some north-eastern provinces have features so close to the Chinese that they are often considered foriegners in their own soil!

But despite all this variety, you still find a certain sameness in most bollywood beauties and beauty queens. Blame me if you think I haven't been noticing properly - but when did you find a real, dusky woman with a generous figure (yes, by the grace of god we're fairly flab-endowed people) dominate the beauty circles? Now all we get is boot cut, size zeroes....and the beauty ideal in India is all but Indian - Fair girls close to the S size and if she has light eyes - it's a bonus. I know of girls who've absolutely beautiful eyes in perfect shape (minus myopia) wear coloured lenses just because they think it's in...WHY?

Enough said...I'm kind of tiring hearing the beauty woes and practices of some girls around me and I don't understand why everyone is hell-bent on succumbing to a particular principle or notion of beauty. They say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and if I was placed in the position of this invisible beholder who sets what's beautiful from what's not, I would say that beauty is undefinable and if you think yourself beautiful there is no need for any external validation. period.

Of Job Hunts and Confusion
So, I quit a cushy placement and education in Singapore to come right back to square one in Mumbai. Do I feel like kicking myself for it, not really...But I'll confess - it certainly is frustrating.
Recession has certainly had a fallout in India albiet of a lesser intensity than other countries. Nevertheless, the job sector has been hit and finding jobs is no easy task especially when you lack the 'famous Indian reference'.
In India...besides qualification and merit, for the first break you need a reference. However, I've never really believed in references, especially because I've never had to resort to them before. In comfort-laden, meritocratic SG, the internet is a useful and reliable medium to apply for jobs. But unfortunately, till now my experience suggests that in India, this medium is only name-sake. Unless - you have the REFERENCE.
None of my immediate family has strayed near the glitzy world of media - newspapers, TV, radio etc etc...Now, I've become a first and am having to crusade for my cause. I've had little success, save an article in The Education Times...atleast that was on my own merit. One of the biggest pluses of being an exception and getting something minus the reference.
Nevertheless, if I do find some good samaritan..willing to help..I would willingly accept it, as long as the 'reference' is known and decent..period.
Alright..wish me luck..and I'll keep my journey posted. Hahaha. It's just been a few weeks, so I'm trying to keep up the optimism, especially because (call it being 'sadistic') I know of people who've had it far worse in seeking employment. Atleast I've a supportive family and am not desperate for livelihood. The job is more a means of intellectual stimulation and finding my feet - earning your bread feels much better than just eating it. Besides, I'd love to gift my parents something from my first permanent salary :)

I'm alright...coping
Ok...just a quick update because there is just too much happening around me at the time..A BIG sorry to all those I may have upset because of not keeping in touch. But people, I just got a proper internet connection yesterday. Before that the slow and lousy dial-up that I had made it impossible for me to do anything because it took ages to upload pages.
Things in Mumbai are getting sort of back to normal, but if I confess, the whole episode did shake me up. I was there, at the CST just 2 days before all this happened and I've been going there quite regularly even after that. But I can't quite get over the fear psychosis that I may not return back after venturing there....Just the thought of walking on a platform where 50 over innocent bodies lay, decomposing, covered in blood leaves me distraught.
People have been lighting candles, participating in peace protests, but unfortunately, due to prolonged, severe sinusitis I have been unable to do so. :( For the first time in my life, I'm angry. Angry with our politicians and angry with Pakistan. One of the worst things that happened here was the brutal murder of the 6-month pregnant wife of the Rabbi and assaults on her 2-year old son before he 'thankfully' managed to escape those horrible Pakistani terrorists. Just seeing and reading about their horrendous activities leaves me questioning the conscience of the people being bred as terrorists there. I know that not every Pakistani is bad, but there are so many rotten elements in the society and the political machinery is so weak that it does nothing to salvage our dwindling faith in the country.
However, despite everything that happened..life goes on...and I've accepted that when I'll go, it will be the time for me to go..period. So, I stand reconciled and am continuing the job hunt...and writing in wherever I can. It may take some time, but I'm positive. Some good news may be on its way, hopefully.
Till then it's a daily prayer...for deliverance.