Today...
Today...I write the 70th post on this blog...today...I feel all muddled..because I begin to realise that in a day's time..my residence will be all mine...I'll be the boss...and I'll be all by myself for an entire week...I've never had that...I've always had someone to do my bidding...if not my family then my friends...ofcourse...I'd love to jazz it up by describing wild in-house parties that I plan to throw...but I'm an absolutely boring, pathetic old maid with no boyfriend, no secret admirer, no social scene, no late nights, no fagging, no booze..no nothing...yes nothing...safe and simple..period...perhaps a pal was right when he casually commented during radio practise..always playing it safe ya megha...well yes..I've always been doing that coz risks haven't paid me well enough...

To top that I'm sort of a recluse basically...and even though I've had (sorry if this sounds immodest to you)...more of what most people seem to want...a posh place, more money than I can spend, a secure family life and a secure friendship..for starters...I've less of what I need....No...not the same old love, care, friends..etc..thats something that comes and goes..literally..thats also what I believe everybody basically wants...but you know..its been an age..since I've wanted somebody... to sit down with and talk....not gossip/whine/any of that shit...talk about issues...talk about books (coincidently..today also marks the end of the 5th straight novel I've read in the holidays), about movies, about concerns on a global scale...about art....basically just have a very comforting yet easy & not made-up intellectual conversation with....and honestly..I don't understand why that somebody up there is being so adamant in NOT making me meet such a person...??!!

Ok...I'm being a nag..but I dunno...I feel really wierd today..really...but whatever I am...I'm not a sore loser..I'm self sufficient...with stuff...plenty of hobbies, a rather decent job...stuff that makes me step out of my slumber, pyjamas and ragged hair into a more presentable form...hmm...lets forget about that flab..aiyoo...

basically...I'm completely confused and wallowing in it...I'm wrapping with school in a while from now...and in most likelihood...I'd be packing my bags soon after...my parents are wanting me to make a quick decision - job...or...degree...and going by my 'assumed' final GPA I don't think I'll have an issue with getting a year/2 off that degree...but then there is the job..but I'm turning 21..soon..and a bit fed-up with the whole...education thing...oh-god..what will I not give to reach a comforting solution to this saga..what will I not give to have "somebody" to basically mull over stuff with....in person...

OK...I'm going a bit..you know...better go for my run...see ya all..in a hopefully..more organised frame of mind..

Damn Sad!
My friday TT aside....the thing thats making me feel rather off is India's shameful exit from WC 2007..Next edition...2011...well..I don't even wanna think about it..Our team minus all the top guns...Dravid, Tendulkar and Ganguly...I'm so gonna miss them...but I hope that the team can sustain itself..with its younger nucleus, the fresh blood...Gosh...I know this sounds wierd...but you know as Indians, our relationship with cricket can be compared to that between two people with a basically caring, love-hate relationship. We care about our team...yes..we do...in our myriad different lives each individual takes out time to check on the game, we idol worship them, we salute them when they do well but our anguish is barely controllable when they perform shamefully (like loosing to Bangladesh for instance.. and then to SL). Personally, I'm not such an extreme fan..maybe I realise that after all they are human beings and should be allowed to err..WC or no WC...sometimes I also feel that as Indians..we tend to make them nervous with our over-the-top-support..most people atleast. After all ours is an emotional bunch and we are like that...but if something we do isn't right..it isn't. period.

If we're feeling so bad about the boys...I can but imagine how they're feeling about the first round knock out. (Also a knock-out for all the sports bars and advertisers cashing in with them).

A little life lesson: Sometimes we criticise people unthinkingly..no one wants to do things badly..but being human we just have our off days and screw up..no matter how big the occassion. Its as important to look at the other side of things, the opposite situations. Perhaps for once forgiveness and in its light happiness won't be so difficult to come by.

Life update
Self-select time-tabling sucks..I'd much rather have people prepare my TT for me...while I mull over the bigger stuff...uhmm...hahaha...you know...I'll always remain the pen and paper girl...forever and ever.

The GPA was encouraging...considering that the semester had two, not-so-easy-for-me modules. But I managed to cruise through..after a while...and I'd like to thank Shaheen Aman for all the help in Radio and that individual website..girl you rock! Hope ur having an awesome holiday... And..ya..all the others who chipped in;) So yes..I'm happy academically.

Now my only worry..sorry..anxiety..is how things will shape up once school re-opens..last semester of study..even though the TT is a bit heavy...its the LAST...I'll manage I know...after that..I dunno where I'll do my internship..Tharu's intern woes don't harbour well with me...You know..whatever I look like...I'M NOT A WASH-THE-CUPS & PLATES kinda girl..I'm more a BREAK-THE-CUPS & PLATES kind and you're lucky if its not on you..hahahhaa...Well...lets see...I 'll just stick to good faith :) New classmates aside...I'm wondering about the new teachers...

Ok..lets just get to the bottomline: When you yourself can't do anything...leave it to divine intervention...hahaha...

The Name of the Game..
Is cricket....and it's at its dream-worthy best at the moment...World Cup 2007.. A time to fantasise and also to let go.

I'm not a sporty personality, but the allure of sport doesn't escape my literary sensitivities and Cricket has been one of the most inspirational games..as far as I'm concerned. If you blame it on my being an Indian...so be it...For their hundred wrongs..the English did one thing right when they left behind the legacy of cricket in our soil. The seeds of that legacy sprouted rich...today the game has an ubiquitous presence in every lane of our mammoth nation and becomes a binding force in a country with a diverse, billion plus population.

The national team is a fine blend of world class acts- be it batting or bowling...I've always found inspiration in the unrelenting attitude of Tendulkar who doesn't give up the game despite more than a decade with it (he started at 16 and shall turn 34 this year)..a decade replete with harrowing injuries, a cracked finger in the leg and I don't know what else. Then there is the fiery dada (big brother)..Saurav Ganguly. If there is a man who can scream, wear his heart on his sleeve and still look like he can decimate the best attack and win a match..its him. I frankly don't like people like that but Ganguly brings on an all new rawness to the game, traditionally called the Gentleman's haunt. Last, but most definitely not the least is Rahul Dravid. I'll candidly confess that he somewhat fits the ideal man image in my mind. Reticence in a man, I'll admit, is a quality that I rarely find and that which I most admire. You can remain mature, perhaps a bit boring with text-book perfection and a natural pull to the convention and still exude that something which makes you endearing...makes you a winner in your own right. When he came to the game..Dravid was written off but today he captains a side that is capable of virtually anything...setting records included...very much.

Whatever be the case...all the gentlemen aside...its the game thats the biggest of 'em all. I may support India, but I more than respect the Australian Juggernaut, the Kiwi class, the English sophistication (minus the Flintoff saga and drinking woes), the Pakis (but not at their current abyssmal form..loosing to Ireland is a shame!)...well..its an endless affair with the game..and the WC marks its biggest day out.

This WC is a time to retrospect and bid adieu. Generations move on...People die out...and new ones come in..the game of cricket like the game of life..moves on. This WC may be the first for the likes of Dhoni, Plunkett, Panesar..relatively unknown names. But its the last for some of my favourite guys....Ganguly, Dravid, Tendulkar, Lara, Ponting, Jayasuriya, Inzamam..I dunno what it will be without them. But hopefully their legacy shall live on...

Also on a side note...a minute in silence to the late Bob Woolmer...English batsman and paki coach who just passed away.

Eat, drink and breathe cricket...there are people who can die for the game and others to whom it is second nature...and then there are those..who stand on the sidelines...aside from the action...soak in the overalls and cherish the finer aspects of the big game.
PS: I'm having a moment..excuse any muddle...but you can be sure that in the current WC euphoria I'm in-tune with..there shall be more on Cricket..and more so..cricket and life:)

Learning a lesson in humility
You know how..we go through life always being told to count our blessings, seeing bare-footed people when our own shoes are torn, peering deeper into the character of people and appreciating their goodness rather than criticising their bad points..yada yada..I've been through it. Honestly..some of these moral science lessons used to get to me. Why can't I just do what I want? Openly smack people in the face, shout at them, scream and give 'em a piece of my mind? Afterall, I've also been taught that honesty is the best policy. If I haven't liked the behaviour of a certain someone..can't I just let them know..instead of cursing them under my breath..what good lies in pretending, yeah?!

But it was a few years from now that I had one of the most profound lessons in humility, on this count...it dates back to our times in Mumbai...

Now...the thing about living in a condo is that whether you like it or not..you always find yourself with neighbours..and in India neighbours are usually nosy sorry..sociable...and there's a mutual give and take. So we were kinda used to it..but there was this lady in the condo who dunno for what reason had a major thing against me. Her behaviour was most rude. In the begining, I tried being respectful (she was my mom's age) and greeting her in lifts and taking stuff for her on my mother's request. But everytime she gave me a very cold look and kinda turned away..as though I was harming/hurting her in some way. I hadn't encountered such behaviour before and my reaction wasn't the most mature either. Payback time aunty...

So I adamantly refused to have to do anything with that lady, gave her the total cold shoulder and made it more than pronounced that if you aren't gonna respect me..I ain't gonna respect you either..period. I think she got the hint. Went and asked my mother...whats with Meghaa...something I did didn't go down well with her? Ya right...using my mother's bait..conniving old lady.. Unfortunately it worked and mom decided to question me...that was like virtually unknown...what the hell...why was my mother listening to that lady. Nevertheless...I was told to apologise...so after procrastinating and thinking for days..I decided to go over and apologise and come back within minutes to switch on the TV and watch any crap to forget the shrug-replete moment.

Trust me..going over cleared a lot of dust. The lady didn't really harbour any dislike for me...just that I always reminded her of her son! Before you get thinking otherwise..actually..she had a son who was my age...but thanks to a developmental disorder at birth he did not grow much older and his mental and physical growth ended at 7 years...and now the guy was nearly going to die..even as I write I think he may just be....Life-cycles aren't the same for everyone...Indeed..one look and you could tell the pain she felt..the fella was 17..but his faculties were 7..He had a mature looking face but the rest of him was on a pram...his body was so fragile he couldn't really support himself. I just stared..and stared...and stared..in disbelief..After that day..I couldn't bring myself to say anything about that lady. Sometimes..we can't just touch upon the pain others feel.

I made friends with the chap..it was very wierd...coz it almost felt like playing with an adult-baby. Applied psychology used like never before....He liked to play with G.I Joes and toy cars. He also liked going out and his care-taker and I would take him out, he would hold both our hands and walk..step..by step.

Somewhere in the wierdness, I could feel her pain..and it humbled me to know however I was/am...God has atleast been kind enough in giving me what I have. Sometimes we take for granted the simplest of things and humility is nothing but appreciating just those.

Wisecracks on Race and racism..
Before you even think about it..let me clarify...this is not a racist, sledging-contest entry. period. It is but a very personal reflection on something fundamental that has dawned upon me in recent years.

Growing up in the metropolis in India, I never came across RACE as an issue and racism was nothing more than a serious but distant issue. Read: distant. While news reports on it did play with my intellectual curiosities, they never really made me retrospect much. As far as I was concerned...I was in India and everything that surrounded me was...Indian!! No worries there...afterall, all said and done..these were people just like me...or atleast who appeared, in their physical makeup, pretty much like moi.

I know the whole brouhaha about north indians looking different from south indians and west indians and well all that jazz. I've heard about it and I've encountered it first hand (ironically in Singapore). But honestly, as a person...I'd much rather see the individual differences among people rather than their superficiality. India is a diverse land...I think the title..!ncredible India that the tourism board has come up with is very true. India is incredible. period. I'm not saying that because I'm an Indian but because of the established fact...there is no country in the world that has the kind of diversity India offers. 26 states, not including the Union territories...and each state you visit..is like visiting another country - its totally different..and in fact..each city in each state, is a more accurate way of putting it.

Let me offer you a small example before moving on. I hail from Mumbai, the capital city of Maharashtra. Now life in Mumbai is totally urban. People are better educated. Jobs are more glamorous (so to say), salaries are excellent..everything else follows. But move into the outskirts of Mumbai..into some of the smaller cities and its not that happening. Honestly..I've had experiences..the differences are stark and people incomparable. Thanks to all my travelling..within my own country..I've become better at accepting differences and instead of appearances, I try looking into the individuality of people....but that I realise is totally different from when you move out and experience racial differences for the first time.

In Mumbai, my only contact with foriegners (so to say!) was thanks to my father's job. We met people from all over the world..France, Germany, Britain, China, Australia, Korea, Japan...literally everywhere. Their different facial and physical make-up admittedly perplexed me at first. I felt conscious around them and in that..more aware of myself. But after those 2-3 hours of meeting and sharing post-stuff with ma, all would be forgotten. Growing up, it dawned on me that they felt the same way. That was the end of my anxiety. But it was the begining of a lesson.....

..Something that has only strengthened after this move to Singapore and travels to other countries. You learn to respect and emulate the best they have as well as gain a greater respect for your own share of the best and that is experiential learning that nothing can beat.
Honestly...one of the first things that struck me about life in Singapore.."My god! where am I...all the people here look so different from me!" I guess it was natural. Perhaps if a Chinese were to go to India..they too would have a similar reaction..haha. Its not really racism...its just getting struck by the immediate difference.

I won't stretch this any longer . But the little thing that struck me was the variety that can be found around the globe and the diversity of it's population. In retrospect..no one is good or bad..we're just different. Either we accept that greater truth, embrace it and learn from it...all for our own betterment. Or we just generalise, differentiate, criticise and get on with being racists..Everyone has racist tendencies. We all have made wisecracks on other races, for pete's sake Russell Peters has made an entire career taking digs at various races..more so his own! But the point is not falling into the negative stereotype trap and spoiling our chances of gaining rich insights into other cultures...for a few cheap thrills and imbecile laughter. period.

A good friend of mine spent a few years in France and she said that she took back an awesome ton of great recipes from her french friends not to mention - the bigger share of intellectual learning. Just the other day we were talking, and I was telling her...till now...the one Singaporean thing that I've picked up is Singlish and I'm still contemplating where to put it..My friend who's currently in a plush magazine job said after I spoke a lil spattering of Singlish -"Sweet heart its great that you've learnt something from the local culture and I hope it stands you in good stead but just a suggestion...please complete your sentences with all the required prepositions, conjunctions and articles, in all job-situations,...unless you have a good mind on getting fired"...hahaha...wa lau!

A Long time since...
Haven't blogged in a LONG while...not because I was being lazy or anything...but thanks to a technical mess up that almost got rid of this blog...haha...non-technic ol' me....and so fated is this day...I managed to get my blog back..just as I was watching a debate on THE ARENA- bloggers are becoming more influencial than journalists!

Well I'm just happy about procuring my blog and as for the stance...I would vouch for journalists..even as I blog..mostly because journalism is more credible than blogging (mine included)...what do I have here...just a lil' online diary where I express personal thoughts and opinions with a tagboard which is mostly used (or shall I say misused) by people who wanna leave meaningless tags?! Now that in my vocabulary is NOT influence..getting the inexpensive thrill of being a (extremely) small-time publisher with no gate-keeper..thats the key statement...I guess.