With a tired heart, mind and soul
I'm updating in a LONG while...you can see from my opening line that the past few days haven't been the best of my life.....

It would not be wrong to say that more than anything else, my spirit is feeling stifled and I'm suffering from blow hot, blow cold currents of running-away-from-it-all. Yet just when I want to run away and be by myself, I'm piled with cartloads of work and a not-so-good environ.

I'm a committed person. period. Be it to work or people. But my committment is niether always returned nor always appreciated and this sickens my person. Bad grades, bad behaviour, everything bad has a way of touching my nerves more than any one else's- Something I desperately need to get out of.

The world is just not a perfect place and I need to get tougher to sustain momentum. But why I can never do that, is a question of the most elusive kind. My rose tinted glasses are shattered and my eyes prick, but still I believe that soon things will get back to the rosiness. RUBBISH. So I hope to get a bit more stronger (hopefully) after these holidays and not bother as much about stuff.

I remember, just before she left for Germany, Eva and I had a most delightful conversation which I remembered today. It was something along the lines of being good to everyone but not expecting anything in return and yes! not feeling too strongly about anyone. Somehow all the people I like and respect, and who give me that same symbiotic feeling, suggest the same thing. Well, high time I start following that little piece of awesome advice:)...I cannot afford to continue with my kiddie, emo ways.

Jess once asked: Why is it that people you like always hurt you the most?
Why is it that people who like you so much cannot come to utter it?
Why is it that you cannot tell some people just how much you like them?
Why does it hurt to see the guy you like, flirting with the hot babes?

Sorry Jess, I cannot answer your inane questions. They SUCK to the core and please don't come to me with these soapy queries. I have hit the roof telling you that some things dissappear with time, age and experience. Just concentrate on loosening your shoulders and getting over and done with. Nothing is really worth it, save for a few special people- you take for granted and the few special occassions that you blantantly forget. Unforgivable. I rest my case and am off on holiday...AWAY FROM SINGAPORE. Will not see anyone and anything except nature and frankly thats just GREAT! I'm craving the solitude.