School bullies

School's over..almost..and well..this might sound fickle..but life has taught me not to keep looking back and thinking about stuff that's practically OVER. MOVE ON....Life is all about transitions afterall...

For those who care...I'm fine..a tad apprehensive about my internship because there are many things I didn't learn coz I didn't take print journ last sem...like shorthand for instance. But well..we need to start somewhere. Other than that life is..as usual...occupied and I feel contented for some reason...beyond my grasp. HOBBIES...thats the word...plus something else that has led to a renewed drive in me.

But the purpose of this entry is to write about something of a more grave nature - school bullies. For time immemorial, I've wanted to be a child psychologist and the the fact that counsellers have become so important in today's harsh academic world just spurs me on. However, ever since my OWN aptitude counseller pointed out that I'm too soft for it...the option has appeared to be but a distant dream. Still, my lack doesn't deter the fact that school kids today are in serious NEED.

Upon reading the "happy slapping" write up in our school's publication - Tribune, and watching the movie - "Odd Girl Out"...I realise just how BAD the situation is...I've witnessed it myself and know just how bad it can get. For one, bullying needn't always be physical...it can be verbal and I'm shocked that many places don't consider verbal abuse worth punishment. The bullies can get away easily...if all they resort to is non-physical abuse - talking ill about a person through websites, blogs, the silent treatment, making fun, joking and all sorts of mentally torturous routines - these I contend are just as bad or worse than physical abuse & school's should have policies in place to tackle such people, especially when it's done to young school kids who are much more venerable to the negative outcomes.

My mother told me about someone who committed suicide because of all the pressure created by such bullies...and I understand the situation fully. Not everyone has the same mental capacity, tolerance levels and character strength. Even if the bully is nothing but a ill-meaning person, the victim still feels depressed by their actions. Under such circumstances what people need is a back-up force to instill the dying drive in the victim and usually a counseller's words often work...Yet school's continue to go without counsellers and even if they HAVE a counseller, nobody really KNOWS about him/her. Often people are ignorant or have the wrong belief that going to the counseller equates to being mental - which is just prepostrous.

School bullies, as I learnt through real life testimony and psychology, are just suffering from some problem themselves which manifests itself in troubling others. No healthy, happy, safe and secure person would ever bother troubling another so much. That's my take...
If you're a victim...PLEASE..consult your school counseller immediately and if that's not an available option speak to a trusting friend or family member..Don't keep quiet and burn within, don't let the bully take charge. period.

Walking back
While walking home from the bus stop, after an enjoyable home ride with Ade - Adeline Lim - I was thinking, after the masina paper, I may never really be the same again...if I contemplate - it's another 2 hours of school that I have left with me...and gosh...(I know this is my 3rd post dedicated to the matter) but I've given percious time from my life to this institute and course and in return it has given me so much...and all that is going to change forever after those 2 hours and by golly, am I gonna miss some people and experiences....will just write it out...in case I forget any names or faces...
Shaheen - for being there for me when no one was....for all your weaknesses, you're still an amazing Girl...
Tharu - for being a friend...dunno why we had to seperate cohorts =(
Shah - well I'm adding him in, because after a recent emceeing session with Tharu & Shah, I find that Shah is an awful..*uhmm* awesome comedian!
Caleb & Hafiz - I can never quite seperate the 2...coz they always come together in my mind..as a 'couple' of wisecracks and whole lot of fun to be with!
EVA - heya Ed! I loved our luncheons this sem and last! A beautiful person - inside out!
Evon - because you're a real nice person and I'll always keep ur Kelly Clarkson album as reminder!
Eunice - for being a loyal friend
My Convex & PR classes (almost everybody...but not everyone)
My IMC group - good working on "sign board man"!
My medlaw & masina classes..as well...
My Year 2 class - everyone almost - again...very long to name...also...people from TV prod and radio..who weren't in my class but were still good people to be around with!
Ofcourse all the teachers...including Ziggy!
Thats it folks...hahaha...whats gone is gone...and well...it can only get better...hopefully.
For those who have a thing against me..can't do much anyways...after all the key to failure is "trying to please everyone"..so there you have it..my last words on school life...perhaps.
Goodluck for your iap's and oiap's people! May good luck be with you =)
Oh..and I'd like to add that perhaps one of the most missed things would be our school library. I've grown so fond of it...its my second home..after classes at school.
I would like to say that even though this sem was a drag, in the end I realised that grades dun matter as much as the people and the wonderful experiences that will last a life-time, long after marks and outcomes become redundant.

CLOSURE
I'm tired...very...tired heart, mind, body and soul...it has been a LONG semester in more ways than one...and not all endings are as pleasent..unfortunately. I really need closure...but I'm not getting any. I wanna finish up, kick off my shoes and just lie in all day long..thinking about nothing...Empty my head and heart of all the myriad of feelings I've had...just trust things to fall in line...but no...something has to keep bothering me...keep obstructing my mind. Worst of all - I can do practically NOTHING about it...whats gone is gone...wonder why its so hard for me to let go....when all I can do is Let go...let God...somethings are really beyond us and the more we think about them the worse they affect us...sometimes I wonder whether the purpose of my life is just to fight my way through annoying, irritating, frustrating and depressing situations.

Its funny..
Something that would have made me feel miserable 2 years back...just makes me laugh now..well well...I've had my fair share of issues...but I was alerted on something that really takes the cake...hahahaha....I guess I'll never be forgiven for some mistakes..they are unforgettable and unforgivable..but heck...its okay...you can't deny people the right to speak..or bitch....everyone to his/her own. After all it's a free world.
Peace....(LOL)

The end....is here
I dunno what I'm feeling...am I happy, sad, sadly happy or happily sad...emotions are such wierd things...it's hard to put them down in a few words. Nevertheless, another major end is on track - the end to an 'eventful' (to say the least) 3 years as a mass comm...student...I wouldn't venture out and call myself a mass commer..out & out...thats expecting too much of myself. But yes, I've had my share of problems and my share of pride. Both have had some impact..possibly one that has been life-changing in ways I feel incapable of describing within the entries of this journal. Perhaps someday, I'll get down to fulfilling my life's ambition of becoming an author and penning a book on it..maybe..but you see..memory is most unforgiving...and things are forgotten...but I'll try to remember everything...and I'm quite sure that I will..somehow I've an inner magnet that doesn't quite let the emotional baggage escape and free my shoulders...much as I try..but still somethings seep away..much like unwanted sand stuck in your fingers after a jolly session at the beach.
So here is goes....the feeling of it being over....and it's much like when I read the last page of harry potter..(I'm so fond of the series!)..but the thing that makes the moment better is that nobody died and everyone got off happy...to end off with a cliche:
"All's well that ends well"

When the tears come falling down
*just a lil' note before starting..I'm not terminally ill or depressed. I've just gotten off the phone..and for nearly half an hour..I was listening to someone wailing over a personal problem..and I don't really respond well to tears...my only response: feeling bad and crying back*
WHY DO TEARS COME SO EASY....to me....maybe because I feel pain more easily..I get hurt more easily..I don't have too much of a thick skin...I've never really been through any material hardships...the only ones I've had were emotional - mourning over someone who'll never come back (I've finally reached redemption..and I realise that dying is a fate every man is destined to..just that it comes before..very early on for some and late to others..) and missing a dear friend sorely..eventhough we keep in contact through letters, emails and calls (Nihi...you're the one forever...) ...Other than that...fortunately or unfortunately I'm quite content in life...so it makes me feel great misery when others cry over things that come quite easy to me or don't seem to bother me much. When little kids cry over money for chocolates and toys that are beyond the affordability of their parents, when girlfriends cry over boyfriends who broke off..
Some people seem to find that I lack-a-life....
A few days back, at Timbre for the Speak Good English Movement (SGEM) launch for our IMC, I had the *uhmmm* pleasure of sitting next to Mr Soh, who was in quite a light mood that evening and made use of the lax environment to take several digs at me...from the leather outfit to the rock band to clubbing...and after quietly sipping at my "poetic punch" (it's a mocktail) I finally got down to voicing out the fact that I was very happy with where I was in life, nothing and no-one could ever buy me over for anything and I live in a swell place better than any club or pub and would happily spend all my spare time there - where I was comfortable, secure and happy. So there goes...nothing against Zigs ofcourse...he made the evening more entertaining than the bands did...but well thats my answer to anyone who has any questions on what I do with my life...moreover..spare time...As for the tears...its a part of being me I guess...and I don' t have any qualms. period.