About being happy...

To those who still drop by to read my LONG posts on this boring blog with an almost negligible amount of pictures...thanks...=)
If you've chanced upon it...through some links or whatever, well...I hope this post keeps you engaged...

I'm a worrier..at times I suffer from what can be called a SUPER PANIC mode...but I realise that everybody has their moments...We go through life with a lot of baggage, both conscious and unconscious - academic pressure, peer pressure, career pressure, relationship pressure...it's an almost always there situation....Sometimes it feels really bad thinking about people who don't give you what you desire, unrequited relationships, lack of reciprocation, bad grades, a stagnant career, a failing career or even a failing relationship...thinking about your own flaws...which I assure you every single individual has...just that it's a bit different for everybody.

I for one can tell you that I often have weight issues....don't go thinking that I'm a super-fat/anorexic, suicidal person..but by medical and Singapore standards..I'm a bit bigger than the people here...so a shopping trip is often-times replete with "heck-I-can't-get-into-it" loserish moments...and utter frustration when you realise how hard it is to get rid of baby fat that refuses to go easy...and a mom who often times nags you for it...(ughh I hate nagging eventhough I realise it's not always bad)...But I'm healthy and overall I'm a happy person...just coz I'm a bit big...and I can't fit into certain dresses and also that I'm not fashion conscious enough to dress uber well and put on a nice lil' smattering of make-up doesn't make me less equal than some others...

I can do all that...if I really want...and it'll be for my good...but I realise that sometimes we load ourselves too much with what is superficial and materialistic. Sometimes we put too much into that new, smart outfit, flashy shoes, amazing accessories and great make-up...sometimes we give too much importance to the others...who judge us every moment...and not always in a necessarily positive manner and sometimes all we end up with is an utter frustration with ourselves and a broken heart...

So I realise that how much ever I imagine myself as someone not-so-flabby, perhaps with a dashier wardrobe and some appealing make-up..maybe with some charming arm candy..it can never make me happier than if I feel happy as it is...from within of me...and all the rest become subordinate reasons to my happiness and that is something that makes me feel like an infinitely happy person...with limitless possibilities in life...and trust me, it'll make you feel the same way if you just try investing more in self growth rather than adding to that wardrobe which frankly..never seems enough or that physical appearance..which never seems flawless....and I assure you...trying to remain happy from within..is something that maybe a bit hard..sometimes..but it's absolutely F.O.C, not damaging your wallet one bit and it makes you feel 1000 times better!